Stupid Hoe vs. Bohemian Rhapsody, etc.

So this meme keeps popping up on Facebook, wherein some modern pop-lite confection of today (Run the World or Stupid Hoe are the ones I have seen most) is compared to Bohemian Rhapsody. The punchline is invariably that the modern song had five or six writers and producers and Bohemian Rhapsody had one, Freddie Mercury. I guess I just have one question; do the people making this comparison think it makes any sense? Bohemian Rhapsody is widely acknowledged to be one of the best popular songs of all time. Compare it to any random song from the past fifty years and you are likely to find the other song coming up short. But tilting the playing field in this way isn't enough for people. Nope, we have to compare the repetitive choruses of modern music to the intricate verses of yesteryear, as if that were in any way a fair comparison. I call bullshit.

Nicki Minaj dropped this verse in Monster and just destroyed that song

Pull up in the monster
automobile gangster
with a bad bitch that came from Sri Lanka
yeah I’m in that Tonka, color of Willy Wonka
you could be the King but watch the Queen conquer
OK, first things first I'mma eat your brains
then I’mma start rocking gold teeth and fangs
cause that’s what a motherfucking monster do
hairdresser from Milan, that's the monster do
monster Giuseppe heel that’s the monster shoe
Young Money is the roster and the monster crew
and I’m all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
and if I’m fake I ain't notice cause my money ain't
let me get this straight wait I’m the rookie
but my features and my shows ten times your pay?
50k for a verse, no album out!
yeah my money’s so tall that my Barbie's gotta climb it
hotter than a middle eastern climate
find it Tony Matterhorn dutty wine it
while it, Nicki on them titties when I sign it
have these niggas so one-track minded
but really really I don’t give a F-U-C-K
forget barbie fuck Nicki she’s fake
she’s on a diet but her pockets eating cheese cake
and I’ll say Bride of Chucky is child’s play
just killed another career it’s a mild day
besides ‘Ye they can’t stand besides me
I think me, you and Am* should menage Friday
pink wig, thick ass, give em whiplash
I think big get cash make em blink fast
now look at what you just saw, this is what you live for
Ah, I’m a motherfucking monster!

Now, I can understand not liking this because it's vulgar, or because it focuses on dissing and money and sex rather more important things (like "scaramouche doing the fandango"?) but to claim it has no value rhythmically or artistically is bullshit. The whole verse is filled with allusion, stuttering rhythms, hyperbole and generalized awesomeness. If that's not your bag, fine, but don't claim it is invalid because you don't like it. I don't understand why people feel that entertainment is some sort of zero sum game, where liking Beyonce or Nicki Minaj means you can also like Queen.

Also, shout out to this image comparing Best Friend to Sing About Me (Dying of Thirst) that I found while briefly researching this post.

If you've never heard "Monster", here's a link to Nicki's verse. Trigger warning on the whole video for disturbing violent and sexual imagery, though the part I link to here is relatively mild.

Ping Pong Cat

I have a new post in mind, but just so the blog doesn't go dark right away...

PING PONG CAT from Hello Future Films on Vimeo.

Parenthood has a Nice Guy problem

*Spoiler alert for Parenthood*

So, I just watched the Parenthood episode Jump Ball (Hulu). In it, shy, introverted Drew is basically living the Nice Guy fantasy of two incredible women fighting for his affections. The back story is that his high school sweetheart goes to school across the country, while he attends Cal, where he is close to home and family. While there, a hot girl on his floor repeatedly hooks up with him but indicates she'd like to keep things casual. Which is to say, she has her eyes open about the dangers of trying to find someone to spend the rest of your life with in college, when circumstances can tear two smart, ambitious people apart through no fault of their own.

Drew struggles with this situation a bit but it continues until his old girlfriend shows up and says she doesn't want to go back to school. She moves into his dorm room and refuses to tell her parents she has not gone back. The hot girl shows a little jealousy over this and reminds Drew he doesn't have to be tied down to one person at the age of eighteen. The episode culminates in a moment of decision for our young protagonist. Will he go on the overnight stargazing trip with hot hookup girl? Or will he stay home with girl next door? If you understand the psychology of the Nice Guy (Who Just Wants To Be Loved), you know exactly where this is headed. Drew turns around and walks back to his dorm room, where lays his head on her welcoming bosom and sighs.

It's all very nice until you realize, "Wait a minute? Isn't this the girl who is basically emotionally blackmailing this kid? The one who can't face up to her problems or be honest with her parents about the challenges she is facing? The one who is using Drew as a safe house so she doesn't have to face the world? Why is he choosing her over the woman who knows what she wants and has always been open and honest with him? Why is he choosing the manipulative one?" The answer to this question is of course, Drew is a Nice Guy. Nice Guys hate it when women are open and honest about their intentions. They prefer to deal with women who are needy or controlling, because it insulates them from blame when things go south. Ultimately, their inner emotional immaturity draws them to other people with problems.

What gets me about this episode is that, at least so far, the writing seems to be indicating that Drew made the right choice. That is just screwed up. If I am wrong (and I could be, I am still like 6 episodes behind), then mea culpa. But I don't think so. So often on this show, women are punished for being independent, and this feels like another case. I'm kind of hate watching this, aren't I?

Dead Formats and Me

This is ridiculous. Blogs are dead. Next week, I'll be starting a Usenet group. That said, I have some things I want to say more publicly than Facebook, and I like writing. Or at least I like having written. Anyhoo. Here we are. I have every intention of writing every day, but for me, that is going to entail the sort of unfocused topic jumping which makes it impossible to build and maintain an audience. Here we are. Share this with your friends and enemies.
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